If you, or someone you love, is a member of a hockey-franchise that resides in a non-hockey city (we’re looking at you Tampa, FL) you are not a real hockey fan and you must seek help immediately.

If you find yourself suffering from any of the following symptoms, please back your bags and remove yourself from the city immediately.

-Sunburn
-You like the Lightning

You are encouraged to travel to REAL hockey cities like Minneapolis, MN and get yourself and your child enrolled in a super-expensive hockey class that will teach to the fundamentals of the game upon your arrival.

Do not delay.

Further exposure to “Florida Hockey” may result in diluted dreams of winning a Stanley Cup (don’t worry, you’ll find out what that is in Minnesota) and thinking that your star center man is better than glorious Sidney “The Kid” Crosby who has won a Stanley Cup and Olympic Gold Medal. This will not do.

Please report to the nearest airport and leave your city behind if you want to be considered a real hockey fan.

This weekend I celebrated my 25th birthday. To cap off a week-long of awesome events, I won the Tampa Bay Lightning Jersey Off Our Backs. Dana Tyrell is the light of my life (basically) and I was all but sobbing when I found out I was getting his jersey. Shaking like a leaf, but it was the single-best night of my life.

They play injured, because it hurts more not to.

one big happy family

so fucking glad you’re back

Forever the rookie, TP16 flinches back from flying pucks as he tries to clear the net during warm-ups.